Sniping 101

I made a last minute purchase at our school auction last weekend.  I have an unblemished record of making historically poor choices on unplanned buys.  I am the demographic grocery store managers have in mind when they put all that stuff you don’t need by the register, knowing some poor sap is going to see something he absolutely cannot live without, and buys it. 

Well, this purchase appeared to be no different my other previous poor unplanned purchases.  But, like most of them, it was one I could not pass up.  It was an opportunity to learn to accurately shoot a rifle up to 1000 yards the following Saturday.  Who would turn that down?  The LW, that's who.  Turns out she already had plans for us to attend the Auburn- Georgia game.  My purchase went over like a sack of rocks.  Though I do enjoy a good college football game, I also enjoy shooting things at great distances and living out my dream of being a Marine Corps Sniper.  I want to be invisible, shoot the enemy from far away, with s silencer, and slip out completely undetected.

Our "teacher" was a colorful character straight out of the United States armed forces about 40 years ago.  He was indeed a great teacher and knew his weaponry better than just about anyone out there.  I think that is why he earned the moniker Chief.  He was also exactly what you imagine an aging Vietnam Veteran would look like.  He could cuss better than anybody I have ever been around, was dramatic when it came to the purpose of weapons and the danger they present when used carelessly, and slowly warmed up to a bunch of wealthy white guys who really didn’t know what they were doing there in the first place.  I say slowly because he certainly did not like us at first.  He saw us arrive, and then looked down on us with disdain for the next several hours. 

I would think he has more than his fair share of war stories, and I am glad there are men like him out there to defend our country.  I certainly did not want to be on his bad side.  I am confident he could have easily killed all of us without a second thought, hidden the bodies where they would never be found, and go about his normal day.  We could probably use someone like him in congress.  Total loose cannon.

What started out looking like another poor choice, actually turned out pretty good for me.  I am confident the LW was not pleased, especially when she was stuck at the house, by herself, with four children, and a babysitter who did not want to show up, making her late to the game.  Fortunately for this sharpshooter, everything worked out.  Auburn won.  My wife was there to see it.  And, though I may not be completely qualified to take out General Stalin at three quarters of a mile, I can put a bullet in the dot on a target at 200 yards and not break a sweat.  I am looking forward to Sniping 201.