Freshmen in college are not known for being highly intelligent. In fact, I think it is safe to say that they are known more for their stupidity and poor decision making than anything else. Enter Strib on his first day of college freedom. He is the baby boy of Jim and Carole Stribling, who along with his older sister Paige, was given an emotional sendoff to the rest of his life. They cried. Strib did not. He was ready to spread his wings and exercise his lack of intelligence.
There was a rather odd tradition at this particular institution of higher learning that included streaking across campus, ringing a bell that was about 180 years old, and streaking back. What a novel idea! No one had done that before, at least this year. Well, our hero, who considered himself somewhat of a trend setter, wanted to be the first. He grabbed a couple of his buddies and ran outside full speed in his birthday suit. It was dark out, which helped. Tie that in with a total lack of clothing except for his running shoes, and he was aerodynamic and fast. It was not long before he outpaced his naked brethren and was running alone in the moonlight, free as a bird, the wind whipping through his hair.
The only light that late summer night was the streetlight above the belltower. This should have been our hero's first clue. But he was not to be deterred as he ran full speed! Due to his lightening fast speed, he reached it first, grabbed the rope, and started ringing as though he had never rung a bell before. But, it was a moment of glory did not last long. Our hero looked over to see the campus police sitting on the hood of his squad car, patiently waiting for me. It was like the scene from Smokie and the Bandit, where Jackie Gleason is sitting on the hood of his squad car waiting at the exact spot where the Bandit shows up. "What we have here is a complete lack of respect for the law!" Only, in this case, I was no Bert Reynolds, and he was Jackie Gleason. Without saying a word, this police officer opened the back door and motioned for me to get in. I, not being completely stupid, obliged.
My friends at this point, still encased in the cover of darkness, saw the activity in front of them, and had the mental acuity to abandon the midnight raid and hide in the bushes until the coast was clear.
The kind police officer, then gave me a free ride back to my dorm, sirens wailing and lights flashing. I will not swear that he was driving below the speed limit, but I will promise you that it was a long ride back to my dorm, which was not far away. I am convinced to this day that he did that on purpose. By the time we arrived at our destination, there must have been 150 students standing outside on the steps, waiting to see what the fuss was about. Holding my head high, ignoring the blank stares, snickers, and awestruck faces, I walked confidently through the crowd (which incidentally parted like the Red Sea) picked up my clothes, and walked right up to my room never wanting to emerge from that dark cave of shame again.
But, I did emerge, and enjoyed my fifteen minutes of fame as I became a bit of a folk hero. It did not last long, as my story was soon over shadowed by the next freshman who did something extremely stupid. But, that was a spotlight I was more than happy to share before I exited the stage.
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