My Brother in Law Chep

I have a jackass brother in law.  Aren’t most brothers in law jackasses?  Even if they weren’t and you were very close, would you admit it?  Doubtful.

I have one particular brother in law who can build anything.  This is my sister’s husband Chep, not the LW’s younger brothers.  Chep calculated and detail oriented.  He is also full of great ideas, and has the ability to build whatever he is dreaming up.  It is a great combination of skill sets.  It is sort of like having your very own Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor in your back pocket.  Very handy.

Case in point: I was blessed to grow up with a lake house in north Georgia.  It is a lovely mountain retreat that holds countless fond memories for me.  The cabin I grew up with has been torn down, but was replaced by a much nicer house.  There are approximately 67 steps from the water’s edge to the door on the back of the house, on an almost 45 degree angle.  So, it is fairly steep.

Chep thought it would be a great idea to build a water slide through the woods to the water.  After all, between the two families we have 7 children, and it would be entertaining for them, and would be fun for adults to participate in as well.  He set about his construction, and before you knew it, he had a fully functioning water slide through the woods from the base of the house to the water. 

And, I have to admit, it is quite the engineering feat.  He thought up the design and built the entire thing almost entirely by himself.  It is awesome, even if he is a jackass.  Where he falls short is his math in calculating velocity, speed, and angle of trajectory when it is a related of his inventions. 

Those problems were soon to raise their ugly heads.  This is where Tim Taylor takes over from the Chep I have grown to know and love, and incidentally, why he is a jackass.  The ramp at the bottom of the slide is just that, a ramp.  Were I to build it, which I could not, I would have made it flatten out so that as you came off the slide, you would skip across the water until you came to a gentle stop.  Not Chep.  He actually turns the ramp up a little so that it launches the rider up, sending said person out over the water for a landing 15-20 yards away.  And the slide, being in the side of a hill, goes straight down to the water.  There are no turns.  Did I say it was steep earlier?  It is.  Chep did not factor in the velocity of the individual on their downward decent, the compression factor as the G forces crush the rider into the ramp at the bottom, or the distance the rider is launched from the slide. 

At first it was awesome, and the ultimate thrill ride.  We made every kid on our end of the lake who tried it cry uncontrollably.  Then, I made my fateful, and final trip.  I am not sure how it happened, but my angle of trajectory was off, so I went hurtling through the air at maximum speed as though I were standing straight up and down.  My feet hit the water with such force and impact that when they hit the water, the rest of my body pivoted and slapped me down face first.  The money maker was unharmed, but I broke at least 2 ribs, and have not been down it since. 

All of Chep’s other inventions are awesome, and put him in a play ground all his own.  But this devilish invention plunges him to the murky underworld labeled "Idiot Family Members" from which he will likely never escape.